Under their Skin
by srh4321
Summary: Ok so the work in progress is now done! hope everyone has enjoyed reading it. again i don't own any of the characters... if i did i would do what the name says!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the spooks characters or anything within this story really… this is my first fiction so be gentle!

Set after 5.03

The cat purred as Ruth gently stroked it's head as she sat in deep thought. Who was she thinking about? Harry of course. It had been 2 weeks since she had point blank rejected his idea of a second date, and she felt awful. It had been an eventful time on the grid, they had managed to first, stop a bomb blowing up in a densely populated area of the city, then prevented the assassination of a well known political figure. As a result Ruth had been at work pretty constantly surrounded by towers of paperwork. Harry appeared to have registered there was little or no chance of a second date and simply spoke to her within professional boundaries, barking orders at her from across the grid. Yet Ruth had noticed a change in him which concerned her, he seemed tired, almost withdrawn from his work, and often she could catch him glancing disappointed looks at her out of the corner of her eye as she typed. She knew it had been the right thing to do to break it all off, the idea of anyone undermining Harry in the office angered Ruth and she did not want to be the cause of his subordinates giggling behind his back. Well that's what she told herself but really deep down she knew it was her who could not cope with it all. The subject of office gossip at her age? Yet she still found herself thinking about him, worrying about him, she had let him get under her skin. The cat twinned itself around Ruth's legs, apparently in the midst of her thoughts she had forgotten all about him. She picked him up and took him into the kitchen. "Well another night in alone Fidget, and they say a Spook's life is never dull".

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Harry sat in his office with his half empty bottle of scotch as the grid lay in darkness around him, he was staring at her desk. As usual there was a towering pile of papers waiting for her in the morning, forms to be completed, boxes to be ticked, things to be signed; she really was an invaluable member of his team. Her presence also lifted the team's mood, she had a smile which was infectious and was loved by Adam, Jo and Zaf alike. It was true he had become withdrawn from his work; he had let his own personal life seep over into the office and regretted it wholly. He found it difficult to concentrate and preside over meetings as he usually did, feeling like a broken man. This simply wasn't acceptable in his eyes, he was supposed to be in charge, demonstrate self control, and everything else he preached, but he had let someone get under his skin and he needed to decide what to do next. Firstly, he had withdrawn himself from any unnecessary contact with her focusing as much as he could on the work at hand. He did miss her wit and gentle humour, but he could think of no other alternative but to cut her off from him to as great an extent as possible. She was always last to go home at night, in fact she had went home hours ago he just didn't seem to have the energy to get up from the chair. He liked to stay and watch her, nothing wrong with watching he thought guiltily. He looked at the clock on his desk, 2.18am, definitely time to get going and get a little sleep before the morning when no doubt the next terrorist threat towards the UK would be launched.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruth was reading one of the many files which lay open on her cluttered desk, well she was pretending to. Really she was looking over at Harry's office; he had disappeared in there about an hour ago with some nameless woman who had appeared at the same time as him… without introductions to everyone else on the grid. Ruth was suspicious, even jealous of this woman, this potential threat (could she even consider her a threat? she was after all not in a relationship with Harry). The woman was tall, slim, and younger than her, and Ruth couldn't help but feel her gut lurch every time she looked over the top of her computer to his office, wondering what exactly they were doing. The blinds were drawn, but perhaps not purposefully for this occasion she tried to reason with herself.

She was just contemplating what reasonable excuse she could give for barging into the office, perhaps claiming Harry had an important phone call or appointment, anything viable, when the nameless beauty came out of her office smiling. Ruth's heart sank… who was she, what did she want, what had she and Harry been doing that made her smile like that? She disappeared through the pods, watched intently by Ruth. Her afterthoughts were interrupted by Harry himself, who was now coming out of his office towards her and her desk with what could only be described as a look of disgust. She quickly put her head down and pretended yet again to be more interested in the file before her than Harry as he approached at an alarming pace. He stopped short of her desk and barked "_Miss Evershed my office now please_", before turning, back in his office within an instant. Zaf sitting at the desk beside Ruth sniggered slightly, muttering "_lover's tiff?_" Ruth glared at him, "_oh Zaf grow up_", closing the files she was reading before standing up and heading towards his office. What had she done? He seemed so angry, full of contempt towards her.

She closed the door shut behind her and looked at Harry expectantly, "_yes Harry_?" He made a weary jerk with his right arm, which Ruth took to mean sit. She looked at him as she walked to the chair opposite him. His face was hard to read even for her, someone who felt they could judge whatever emotion he was feeling and respond accordingly. When he had been upset by a colleague's death about a year ago she was the one who had offered him someone to talk to, and although he turned her down she felt he appreciated the sentiment. She sat down, and put her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her bracelet, unable to look him directly in the eye.

"_Ruth_" Harry sighed, "There _has been a request to send you back to GCHQ_".

"_What… when… why now Harry? I've been here for three years now. I assumed I was here to stay unless you…" _she paused; maybe after their personal issues he simply didn't want her in the department. She had assumed, perhaps wrongly, that she would only be leaving if her work was incompetent, which it wasn't. He had after all let her stay even when she had acted as a mole at the start of her job in the department, even after she had tried to set herself up with someone they were watching, and after informing Adam of an operation when Harry had strictly forbidden it. Surely therefore he couldn't be sending her back because of their own personal problems?

Harry seemed to read her mind, gave her a brief smile and shook his head. "_No, Ruth, I myself have not asked you to be sent back to GCHQ. The only reason I would do such a thing was if your work was simply not up to scratch, yet last night it occurred to me how valuable you actually are to me… I mean how valuable you are in your role as an analyst within the section, not to me, well you are, but that is not the point. Professionally I find you an invaluable member of the team. I respect your decision to conclude our personal relationship, and although I have been somewhat brash and distant the last few weeks, I would never make any attempt to remove you from this team: you should know how much you mean to me… in a professional sense of course._"

Ruth blushed looking down at her bracelet, smiling at first because of his truthfulness, then frowning slightly, realizing if she were to go back she would soon be leaving him. She looked up at him again, "_well then please explain why I am being seconded back there Harry I just don't understand_."

"_As I have already said Ruth you are an invaluable member of this team, and that quite simply is the reason. Jennifer Marx_", Harry paused seeing the questioning look on Ruth's face, "_the woman you just saw leave_". Ruth nodded slowly, "_well she has been given the opportunity to develop a new team within GCHQ and she quite clearly wants you, which is why I have just spent the last hour arguing your case to remain here, unfortunately I am currently losing, and she seems adamant that you will be placed in her team when it is formed next month._"

Harry looked up to Ruth's face, her amazingly blue almost grey eyes were welling up with tears. "_Well now Ruth there's no need for tears yet, I called you in here for a reason, to ask you whether you wanted to remain within C Section? If so I'm sure I can pull some strings or at least attempt to ensure you remain in the department. I realized I had been selfishly fighting for you to remain, simply to fulfil my needs to see you, rather than to see what you yourself wanted. There is in fact a greater possibility of promotion and career development at GCHQ than here, and I didn't want to deprive you of that. After all we are Spooks, we are married to our work._"

Ruth laughed slightly, secretly she was glad he had acted selfishly, she too could not imagine being away from him, not with him every day: being barked at, barging into his office and so on. Yet she could not tell him that, she could not risk him thinking she was open to being pursued again. At least not yet, she knew people had become more aware of their relationship, her brief conversation with Zaf before she entered the room was evidence enough, she simply could not deal with their gossip. "_Harry I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here_" she paused, looking at Harry whose face had dropped as if expecting her to say she wished to leave. "_I have friends and people I care about, work I love doing even though it is stacked high on my desk, yes I wish to remain here_." She smiled, hoping he caught the people I care about part that was after all aimed at him.

He rose from his side of the desk, smiling, feeling their relationship could be salvaged in time, and sat down on the edge of the desk right beside her. "_Are you quite sure Ruth?_"

"_Yes I believe I am_", she got up from her chair, assuming the meeting was over, and feeling the need to go back to her toppling pile of paperwork, no doubt Adam having placed a few more files on her desk whilst she was in Harry's office. As she stood beside him she caught his smell and smiled genuinely at him, "_Thank-you Harry_". She wanted to kiss him but stopped herself. When she got to the door, she paused and turned around to him, "_You are alright Harry aren't you? I mean you haven't been looking so well or acting yourself since well you know_."

He smiled and said "_I'll be fine now or at least I will be when we have this issue resolved, I think I have a few calls to make_."

She nodded "_good, it will be wonderful to have the old Harry back on the grid again, I have missed him_." Before Harry could make any response she had quickly left the room.

Harry was left in the office, deep in thought, considering how he would ensure Ruth remained within the department, where he needed her.


	3. Chapter 3

Since their awkward meeting a week before, Harry had almost returned to normal, almost. He could almost have been described as cheerful for the first day or two, but as the week wore on he became increasingly irritable and distant. Often members of the team walking past heard him hurtling abuse down the phone to some poor recipient, and the blinds remained closed. Ruth was suspicious it was possibly because of her some poor sod had to endure Harry's temper and wrath. They had spoken no more of their meeting nor had she shared her possible departure from the Grid with anyone else on the team. She felt Harry would sort it out, as he often did, making a few phone calls and finally reassuring her that her place was here. Yet as the week wore on she became more anxious and Harry offered no reassurance that he was on track in his efforts to keep her.

Meanwhile the section was experiencing one of those hated dry spells when there simply was no immediate terrorist threat to attend to. All well and good for the country of course, but for the team the week was passing slowly, with even Adam and Zaf growing restless in the close confinements of the Grid. It was particularly hard for Ruth as it gave her more time to think on what a potential departure could mean. She shuddered at the thought of it, and when, like usual, she looked to Harry's figure through his office window in reassurance, she could only see shuttered blinds. The thought of leaving the Grid was bad enough, she enjoyed her work, and threw herself head first into it. Yet her mind always strayed back to Harry and how she would miss even his gruff comments when an operation wasn't exactly going to plan. It made her fidget and in that day alone she had managed to break yet another lamp, and a stapler which quite simply didn't want to staple. Banging it on the desk didn't really help the situation either, though at the time it did seem rather sensible. Her colleagues had noted her erratic behaviour, but with it being Ruth, they simply pushed it to the back of their minds: she was of course brilliant but bonkers, and that's why they all loved her, they weren't going to try and change her.

Harry was indeed having difficulty in what he thought would be quite a simple task, ring in a few favours and the job would be done. But no, Ruth was apparently top priority for Jennifer Marx and any attempt so far by Harry to keep her had been quashed. He sat in his office with his head in his hands, pondering what to do next… who could he call… who could he offer as a replacement… anything. Ruth's parting comments last week had offered him a glimpse of them having a second date, and truly beginning their relationship. To any outsider such considerable action by Harry to simply guarantee a second date would probably seem preposterous and farfetched, but to him it was necessary. He couldn't quite put his finger on when he fell for her, and inside he knew he loved her, but he was Harry Pearce man of mystery so to speak, guarding his personal life as well as the country from any potential threat. He couldn't tell her directly how he felt, he had thought about it constantly, after all he had sat back for so long and ignored all his feelings, instead content with being close to her. But now there was the ever increasing possibility he would not have that chance to be close to her, and what scared him most was she would simply forget him if she left. Secretly he knew she wouldn't but all the same it was a daunting prospect, the woman he had longed for for so very long simply moving out of his reach. Juliet had warned him not to miss this opportunity, and for all her faults she was right about this. Suddenly, Harry raised his head as if struck by a bolt of lightning, Juliet of course, how could he not have thought of her before?! She had the potential power to make this all go away, he knew she had changed since the wheelchair, but this was still Juliet, potentially she could still refuse… As Harry pondered momentarily the possibility of his ex-lover helping him there was an almost silent knock at the door. "_Come_" barked Harry, angered to be interrupted amidst a chain of thought. The door slid slowly open and Ruth poked her head in.

"_I'm sorry… I'm… not interrupting anything am I?_" Harry looked at her face she looked dishevelled and tired, like him she gave the appearance of having had recent sleepless nights.

His voice softened "_No Ruth, of course not, come in, was there something in particular you wanted to talk about? No potential terrorist plot unfolding I hope?_" She stepped inside the office and closed the door gingerly before turning to face him again.

"_No not exactly… it's just I'm… well to tell you the truth I'm just worried about this GCHQ thing. You haven't got back to me about it this week, and I was just wondering whether you were um having some difficulties and I was actually going to have to well you know_." Her voice faltered and she looked down at the floor.

Harry got up and put his arm around her and walked her over to his sofa letting her go so she could sit down. He turned and sat beside her, perhaps closer than would be judged natural for a boss sitting beside his analyst. But the blinds were drawn, and Harry couldn't care more or less about protocol. Again his personal life was being drawn into the workplace and his professional life. He looked at her again, her hands were fidgeting with her bracelet, yet again, and her eyes looked down.

"_Well Ruth, I made a few phone calls as I told you I would, but yes I am finding it difficult to try and convince anyone that you will be remaining on the Grid_. _It seems the qualities I find so admirable in you are also admired by others_ _considerably_." Whilst he spoke he watched her steadily and her eyes filled with tears, with one falling silently down her cheek. Her nerves were now truly rattled; if Harry couldn't fix this mess soon she would be taking her last walk through the pods and out of Thames House away from him.

He edged closer towards her and put his arm around her again, she looked up at him again. "_Harry, I don't think I could cope with… I mean… I don't know… my work is my life… and everything that is important to me is right here_." She paused looking up, noting the concern etched on his face, and continued. "_There was a reason I left GCHQ, it's was my life ambition to become a spook and I don't want anyone taking that away from me_. _That… and I really can't imagine… well you know… I love working here, I would miss the people too much. I just can't leave_." On her final word she broke into a sob and put her arms around Harry's neck. He held her tightly and whispered quiet reassurances in her ear, promising to do everything in his power to prevent her from being moved.

Ruth looked up at him after a few minutes, her eyes puffy and her cheeks red. She stared into his eyes, if it had have been any other man she would have sworn they had a glazed and glassy look, but no this was Harry Pearce, and men like Harry Pearce well they didn't show their emotion to anyone let alone cry. He tenderly wiped away a tear away from her face and her face seemed to edge closer to his. She drew herself into kiss him, when the door flew open. Both quickly pulled back and looked at Adam, who was standing there looking anxious. Inside Harry cursed him for interrupting, whilst Ruth quickly looked down at her hands again in an effort to hide her tear-stained cheeks. Adam, seemed to ignore the compromising position he found the two in simply stating "_Harry, potential bombings in Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds and Liverpool all within the next 24 hours, we have some limited intel_."

"_Meeting room now, bring Zafar, Jo, Ros and Malcolm_." Adam quickly left the room, and the two heard him shouting for his colleagues across the grid. "_Ruth…_"

"_I_ _know Harry, the country first and all that_" and with that she quickly left the room, heading away from the Grid to the ladies, to ready herself, and ensure no one was aware of her current inner turmoil. Harry sighed deeply, watching her make her way along the corridor from his door, before turning the other direction towards the meeting room and his waiting staff.


	4. Chapter 4

Twenty hours, 56 minutes later Harry was again sitting in his office alone. The potential terror threat had been averted and momentarily Adam was due so the two could go over the operation in greater detail. In the moment's silence Harry's mind was drawn back to Ruth. He walked over to the window of his office and pulled the string so the blinds opened. He looked at her desk, the light on, the papers sitting high, and Ruth… his eyes rested for a moment on her face which was buried in a file. She hadn't seemed distracted at all during the operation, and when she walked into the meeting room ten minutes after he had begun she looked perfectly natural and at ease. She was indeed a spook he thought, able to hide her true self.

"_Harry_", Adam had tapped the door frame and entered with a file in his hand. "_Is now a good time? It's just I haven't seen Wes the last two days and I want to get home tonight before he goes to bed._" Harry nodded and returned to his desk, motioning for Adam to take a seat, which as usual he had practically done even before Harry had signalled. The two talked for about half an hour, but often Harry's glance shifted to Ruth and Adam sensed his distraction. Ruth too having noticed his blinds finally open, kept firing furtive glances in Harry's direction but continued with her work, one more file to go then she would be able to go home to try and get a nights sleep, if she in fact could.

Adam finished discussing the operation and peered over his shoulder at Ruth. "_Is there something I'm missing here Harry? It doesn't take a secret agent to realise something is wrong. Earlier Ruth was upset and quite clearly you know why."_

"_Yes I know why Adam, it's as much my fault as anyone else's." _At this Adam sat up and listened intently, after all it was common knowledge they had been on a date, and any information from Harry himself regarding his personal life was a big step up from the usual gossip around the water cooler. "_Well Jennifer Marx, of GCHQ has requested, no requested is the wrong word, well basically she wants Ruth back for the formation of a special taskforce. Of course Ruth doesn't want to go and I don't want to lose her she's very valuable… to the team. I have been trying for the last week to prevent it but unfortunately it's looking likely that Ruth will be leaving us soon. I made a promise I doubt I will be able to keep, and I just don't have the heart to tell her… nor do I want to face the truth" _he added under his breath.

"_Oh…"_ Adam really didn't know what to say. The news was without doubt unexpected, usually Harry kept him informed of personnel issues and apparently he had been kept in the dark for a week, yet he could understand why.

"_Yes, so you can understand Ruth is feeling her time here is coming to an end and is rather upset. She loves her work and her colleagues and it will be a huge shift for her to go back to GCHQ. The only person I have left to call and plead my case is Juliet, which I will do first thing tomorrow. I can see no other option_."

Adam nodded and again was left somewhat speechless. "_Well Harry if there's any way I or any of the team can help you know we all will. I doubt any of us could imagine the Grid without her. Malcolm and you alone remember that time_."

Harry sighed and thought of everyone who had come and gone in Ruth's time, Tom, Zoë, Danny, Sam, Fiona… his heart hardened. Each one of those losses had affected Harry in some way, and he could only imagine his distress if she too was lost. He refused to let it happen. Juliet would help him he was almost sure of it. As if coming out of a daze he turned to Adam, "Sorry Adam, we're finished here, you can get home to Wes now." Immediately his gaze returned to her, and there it settled as Adam left.

As she switched her light off some time later, she noted she was again the last one on the grid except Harry. She walked over to the door, knocking the frame and calling goodnight to him. He immediately got up to the door and as usual offered the lift she rarely took. Again she said no. "_Goodnight Harry_", "_Goodnight Ruth_", and before he knew it she had kissed him quickly and hurried towards the pods out the door before Harry had a chance to stop her.


	5. Chapter 5

"_Yes I do need to speak with Juliet, and yes it is quite urgent. Tell her it's Harry Pearce_." Harry sighed as he struggled to communicate his urgency towards Juliet's secretary. She seemed very put out by Harry's call, and was demanding further details before Harry was put through. Did this woman really work within the intelligence services Harry pondered… did she not understand the meaning of words such as urgent and classified? After further heated argument he was eventually put through to Juliet.

"_Harry, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected call?_"

"_Juliet. I trust you are… well that you are feeling ok_?" He had found difficulty in addressing Juliet's disability directly since he himself had to tell her she had very little chance in ever walking again.

"_Yes, Harry, though I'm quite sure you didn't ring just to ask if the lady in the wheelchair was feeling ok today." _Juliet snapped back in her usual snide tones, momentarily he wondered how they had ever been intimate, but then again they were both different back then. _"I trust there's something important you wish to discuss, Laura my secretary tells me you have something both urgent and classified in mind_."

Harry paused, how could he phrase his request, make it seem plausible and of course urgent. It was urgent in his mind that was without doubt, yet perhaps to Juliet, Ruth's departure to GCHQ was a trivial matter, something which really had nothing to do with her. Harry sighed; it had definitely become desperate if he now had to rely on Juliet to dig him out from the hole which he had found himself in.

Juliet noted his pause, "_come now Harry, I may be disabled but I do still wheel around occasionally and do have other things to attend to. Was there a particular reason for this call, what is troubling you_?"

"_Juliet I need a favour_", the words were barely out of his mouth before he heard Juliet laugh, well rather cackle back down the phone at him.

"_So finally Harry Peace utters those four little words. Well isn't this a turn of events. Well what favour can I do for you Harry, within reason, and with reason of course_."

"_Juliet they want to move Ruth back to GCHQ and I require some assistance in blocking it_." Harry sighed again; the words just flowed from his mouth before he could stop himself. Juliet noted the exasperated tone in his voice and felt somewhat sorry for him, though of course she didn't show that in her reply: "_And why, Harry do you want to block the move, are you somewhat worried you will miss your opportunity otherwise_?"

"_Juliet… skating… ice… thin_."

"_Now Harry, we have already had this argument and as I told you before I have a special pass… well really I have special wheels that let me skate on very thin ice and live to tell the tale_."

Harry laughed in spite of himself; she had retained her wit he had to admit, despite the shocking events which led to her disablement.

"_Juliet, all I am asking of you is to help me prevent Ruth from being shifted from the section without either her or my approval. I find Ruth to be a vital member of my team, and would hate to lose her skills and talent which are often utilized to ensure the success of an operation. Personally…" _Harry paused_, "personally I do not wish her to leave, she has become almost engrained within the section and I cannot imagine anyone filling her shoes, and I do ask she remains to exert her calming influence on the team_."

"_And you Harry, of course her calming influence works wonders on you too_."

"_Quite Juliet_."

"_Details Harry, I need some more details if I am to help you and your spaniel further_."

Harry rolled his eyes, "_Jennifer Marx of GCHQ is forming a special taskforce and demands Ruth be placed within it, filling a vital role apparently. It is due to be enforced within the next 3 weeks_."

"_Jennifer Marx Harry, well you do pick your battles don't you. I have heard she takes no prisoners and quite simply gets what she wants. You have discussed this with Ruth haven't you? You aren't just going over the poor woman's head. It seems career wise the move could be viewed as logical even sensible._"

"_Yes, Juliet but not everyone is like you hell bent on reaching the top rung of the ladder. Ruth is quite happy where she is at now, and quite simply doesn't want to leave her current work, or colleagues._"

"_And by that she means you of course Harry_."

Juliet waited for the backlash but none came. She sensed she was talking to an almost broken man, not the Harry Pearce she respected or knew in earlier years. "_Right, well Harry I should have the power to block the move certainly, but I will need a replacement to be sought and for them to agree to the move instead… one of Ruth's quality if possible Harry_."

"_Juliet thank you, I won't forget this_."

"_Now Harry, I said should have the power. It is I am afraid not certain I will be able to stop the move at all. I suggest you take some measures on your side to help me seal the deal. Perhaps place Ruth on an operation of importance, which would be foolish to drag her away from to move onto GCHQ, and get the team's backing. They no doubt will help in any way they see fit_." Juliet paused, "_As for you Harry, as a friend, if things should go awry, I suggest you and Ruth sort out your personal issues._"

Harry sighed again, "_thank you Juliet, I will let you get back to wheeling about your office now. Oh… one last thing… how long before you think you will know for definite?_"

"_I'm unsure Harry, I will let you know as soon as I have confirmation_" and with that Juliet said her goodbyes and put the phone down. Harry smiled genuinely and sat back in his chair, Ruth too noticing the change in his stature through the window felt a little more at ease. Maybe the witch wasn't quite as bad as she thought after all.


	6. Chapter 6

The following day Harry stepped onto the Grid, having finally had a good night's sleep he was uncharacteristically chirpy for so early in the morning. Sliding through the pods he noted everyone was in the office early "Good morning all, meeting room in ten minutes for the daily briefing." He caught Ruth's glance and issued his come-hither look to her, turning to his right and heading towards his office. After a momentary delay Ruth tottered in after him with a stack of files in her hands in preparation for the briefing. He took the files from her and placed them on the desk as she closed the office door shut.

"_Harry_…" she looked at him questioningly.

"_Morning Ruth. Sorry for the early meeting but we need to talk_." He sat down on the edge of his desk, motioning for Ruth to sit at the chair opposite him. Ruth looked at his face as she sat down and her heart melted inside. She could tell by the genuine smile he carried and the warmness radiating from his eyes that he had been successful to some degree in his conversation with Juliet.

"_I spoke to Juliet last night_" Ruth nodded in agreement quickly, eager for the outcome of the conversation. "_She guarantees me she will do everything in her power to ensure your place on the Grid is maintained for the immediate future, whilst I aim to keep you here for the distant future. Although everything is still on a knife edge, I sincerely believe we are finally on the winning track_."

Ruth jumped up from her chair and hugged him without a moment's thought. Perhaps if she had allowed herself to take a moment she would have noticed the blinds had remained open, and across the Grid there were several sets of eyes gazing in keenly at her and Harry. Indeed Zaf had actually moved forward for a closer look.

"_Thank you Harry, thank you so much. I know things aren't finalized yet but I feel much better now_." Still she did not release him from their tight embrace, nor did he try to remove himself from it wilfully. Coming to his senses he looked out of the office window and noted with distain the staring eyes. He quickly pulled back and Ruth looked at him hurt, her beautiful eyes glazing over. He flicked his eyes towards the window and immediately she understood. She quickly sat back down in the chair, feeling the eyes boring into the back of her head as she tried to compose herself. No one but Harry could see her blush crimson and fidget with her bracelet yet again.

"_To continue Ruth, Juliet gave me some advice. For our part she suggested we place you on an important operation, and if you were moved to GCHQ it would be detrimental to that operation." _He paused_… "she also suggested we tell the team." _He noted the concern on Ruth's faceIf the rest of the team were told it would all seem so much more real to her, and that scared her_. "I have to agree with Juliet on this one. If we can draft in the rest of the team I am sure they will be willing to help us search for another Ruth" _he chuckled_, "I mean someone to take your place. I know such a search would be difficult between you and I alone. You have so many admirable qualities and we would have to trawl through numerous personnel files, we quite simply might not have the time to find a suitable candidate. This was the one thing Juliet requested directly, a replacement be sought and agreeable to taking the position. With the team on board we may find it easier trekking through files."_

Ruth nodded, she knew it made sense; he always made sense after all. "_Will you tell them… I don't think I can… it's just it makes it much more real and I just well I can't bear the thought of it_."

Harry nodded slowly. "_I'm going to tell them now in the daily meeting, if that's ok with you of course._" Again she nodded. "_Right well then, shall we go_?" Picking up her files he carried them to the door opening it for her, and walking her to the meeting room.

Taking it as a signal to follow, the rest of the team jumped to attention and made their way to the meeting room. All, save Adam, were intrigued by the office embrace and hoped for answers in the daily briefing. Usually the most boring part of the day, this one promised to be particularly interesting.

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The meeting passed without a hiccup, though Zaf kept shifting his glance between Ruth and Harry, trying to note any type of change in their general attitude and demeanour, but he found nothing. Everything for the most part seemed natural. Ruth had snapped her pen in two whilst Harry had talked, and although everyone turned to her momentarily their focus was quickly shifted back to Harry. Everyone knew Ruth was a "fidgeter"; she had even named her cat Fidget, so the distraction although unexpected was not seen as abnormal.

As the meeting drew to a close, the team started to get up from their seats, but a stern glance from Harry drew them back down again. Could this be it they thought eagerly… Harry at last admitting to the team his and Ruth's true relationship? Jo and Zaf threw each other eager looks before turning their attention to Ruth, who appeared to have turned as red as her jumper, and was now fidgeting even more profusely than before. What Harry said next was so unexpected to the team it came as an even bigger blow and shock.

"_Sorry everyone there is one more piece of business we must attend to before we get back to work_." He looked at Ruth slowly before continuing. "_About a week ago, a member of GCHQ came into my office, Jennifer Marx_." He paused. "_Well she was here to inform me we would soon be losing a member of our brotherhood to a special taskforce she was forming_." At his intake of breath he noticed the panic on Jo, Zaf, and Ros' faces. Malcolm sat motionless; his life was this department he knew Harry couldn't be talking about him. The other three were exchanging glances and joint panicked expressions. "_Miss Evershed has been the target of this approach_." In a moment their individual anxieties all shifted to concern for Ruth, and one question lingered in their mind, why did Harry not try and stop this? Yet the earlier embrace seemed not quite so sordid as their minds had previously suggested.

As if understanding their chain of thought Harry answered, "_efforts have been made to keep Ruth here, although this has proved a more difficult task than was originally anticipated. Miss Marx is apparently a bit of a rottweiler and quite simply doesn't take no for an answer_."

"_Yes Harry, but surely there is something we can do_?" Zaf interrupted, giving Harry a questioning look. "_I mean if we truly are well a brotherhood aren't we supposed to stick up for our own and all that_?" Ruth smiled at him, another figure she would dearly miss if her move was finalized.

"_Yes, Mr Younis, I was in fact coming to that. I have spoken to Juliet and she assures me that to every degree of her power she will try to ensure Ruth remains within the section. However, she also requires a replacement be found. I know this task will be particularly difficult as Ruth is very talented at what she does, but it is our task to find a suitable candidate, one who carries as many of Ruth's skills and qualities as possible_." The room murmured in agreement, this sounded like one of Harry's plans, and really how often did one of those go wrong?

"_So… I have requested the relevant personnel files to be brought up by registry, and have them distributed throughout the team. Your input although not mandatory is well really crucial to helping me secure Ruth's future within the department_…" Harry continued, explaining further the ins and outs of the plan.

Throughout most of the discussion Ruth remained silent, head down, yet smiling. Individually the team members glanced at her, concerned and willing to help, Ruth felt proud to be a member of this so called brotherhood, and as her head lifted finally, despite all her inner turmoil she was beaming. The meeting drew to a close and everyone hurried out. No one was quite sure what to say to Ruth… what honestly could you say? In their line of work, actions spoke louder than words, so each rushed off to their own devices, each determined to find the suitable replacement Harry had described in-depthly to them. Adam closed the door slowly on his way out, winking at Ruth before he left Harry and Ruth alone again.

"_That wasn't so bad now was it Ruth_" said Harry drawing up the chair beside her.

"_No, Harry but I couldn't have told them myself, for one thing Zaf's constant interrupting would have had me on edge_." She reached over for his hand and squeezed it. "_Thank you, you have been so… so_…"

"_Resilient in wanting to keep you within my section? Yes I would like to think so Ruth, like I said before you are quite simply too valuable to lose_." They both smiled, and neither let go of the other's hand. For a moment they sat in silence. Both started to speak at once. "_Harry I'm sorry…." "Ruth I need…"_ Harry motioned to her that she should continue.

"_Harry I'm sorry I pushed you away. I didn't really mean to, it's just my control mechanism. You know me, never sure about anything apart from the classics, the cat and how to hack into any system available_."

"_Yes I know, we do guard our personal lives in the way we guard our work, it's to be expected I suppose_" replied Harry truthfully.

"_What I mean to say is… I'm sorry I turned down well turned down you know your offer of a second date. I was naive in being affected by what the other team thought of us and our relationship. I'm sorry_."

Harry pulled his face closer to hers "_that's ok Ruth, you weren't being naïve, you were showing self control, and putting others before yourself, one of the things I respect most about you._"

"_So what I mean to say is that…um … I mean what were you going to say when I interrupted you before_?"

"_I was just going to say I needed you to stay here for me as much as for you. The thought of you not being here morning, noon and night, right before me well it's difficult to think about_."

"_I know, I would miss you too you know_."

"_Well we have the best team in efforts to finding a suitable replacement, and I trust Juliet explicitly. I feel the tides are turning Ruth_." He let go of her hand at last, and stood up, pacing back and forth in front of her chair for a moment or two. "_Will you perhaps think about maybe going to dinner with me again sometime?_"

Ruth smiled, "_think. I don't need to think Harry, especially after what you have just done for me. I would love to go to dinner again._" She stood up, ready to conquer the files on her desk with an increasing eagerness.

"_Well I'll book a table somewhere and let you know when and where then_." He looked out of the meeting room window, everyone seemed to be busy at their desks, typing or turning pages furiously. He moved swiftly and kissed her on the cheek before pulling back, afraid of the reaction such an action would produce. Quickly she kissed him in reply but on the lips as before, and she exited the room yet again before Harry could move or speak, this was getting to be a habit he thought cheerfully.

As he stood in a daze in the meeting room, she walked to her desk with a glazed expression. Unbeknown to either, the rest of the team had been fully aware of their actions, they were spies after all. Each smiled, and carried on with the task at hand, leaving Harry and Ruth to their own thoughts and day dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

**mucho thanks em!! here's the first upload... grrr for finals or i would have more up!!! hope everybody enjoys...**

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Zaf sighed and looked over at Jo. "_This is the fourteenth personnel file I've looked at this morning, and I can't see Juliet accepting any of them as a replacement for Ruth_."

"I _know, they all seem so I don't know_…"

"_Useless_?" chimed Zaf in helpfully.

"_Yes… well that isn't a word I would have used. But none of them are a patch on her, and if this Jennifer Marx is as difficult as everyone claims, I don't think she'll just take some ok replacement_."

"_Yeah I know, but I wouldn't tell Harry or Ruth that there's a possibility we aren't going to find someone." _He leaned in towards Jo_, "did you see them yesterday… that was more than just a thanks for all your help boss kiss, doubt they'll be wanting separated any time soon_."

Jo whispered back, "_yeah, I know. Bet they just had a lover's tiff before, and they _are_ back on again. I'm going to use my social skills to find out from Harry's driver if there are anymore dinner plans on the hori.._."

Jo was interrupted by Adam who had leant in between the two junior officers with a mischievous grin on his face, "_no don't mind me, carry on carry on_."

"_Adam… we were just talking about how hard it is to find someone to replace Ruth_".

"_Oh shut up Zaf! So Adam…"_ Jo looked at him innocently, "_have you any Harry and Ruth gossip? We think they're back on with that kiss in the meeting room yesterday_."

"_Well Jo, Zaf, what can I say I'm the senior officer… but I'm not about to go up and ask Harry Pearce about his personal life am I? I like living in the UK don't want to be shipped off to some remote corner do I, have Wes living with goats or something. Now please get on with the task at hand. We do have other work on as well so as soon as we find Ruth a replacement, the sooner everything goes back to normal._" He turned to walk away, "_well apart from Harry and Ruth of course"_ he winked to Jo and turned on his heel towards his own desk.

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Harry was at his desk with a small mountain of files lying to his left hand side, one open in front of him, reading the text carefully and murmuring in approvement of what he was reading now and then. He heard the tap at the door and it flew open.

"_Yes Ruth_…" He had become so used to her regular visits he needn't even check to see if it was her, he knew by the entrance. If the door flung open it was Ruth in a hurry, if it was a quiet knock it was a somewhat concerned Ruth, and if it was a tap on the door as it opened it was Ruth with information. He turned now to see her standing in the door, looking somewhat frazzled, her hair was in a messy pony tail, she had bags under her eyes and she gave Harry a weary smile.

"_Harry… I've run over the two personnel files you gave me as potentials, neither will work. The first..."_ she flicked to open up the file, "_the first is a Miss Jessica Thatch. Well she is good yes, but they've only placed her in section A for about 2 months, I'm highly doubtful they will let this Marx woman take her away so soon. The second…. Mr Jack Green well he's had too much operational experience, not enough time in the office, you need a desk spook_. _Have you got any more you want me to check over?_"

"_Well Ruth as I only gave you the last two half an hour ago; it's not really likely is it_?" he said as he smiled warmly at her.

"_Ah ok… well I'll go do some actual work then. I'm glad it's an easy work week or we wouldn't have time for any of this_."

As she turned to go he called her back, "_Ruth would you just take a quick look at this file, I've only got half way down, but to me it seems somewhat promising, but then again you are the analyst_."

Ruth walked to behind Harry's chair and leant over his shoulder to read the file. She loved opportunities like this. It gave her a valid excuse to be _so_ close to him, and if anyone was looking, she was of course doing exactly what she appeared to be doing, reading a file over her boss' shoulder… while she took in his cologne and everything else of course.

"_Hannah Rodgers… 31… Oxford… a first class honours in classics… minor in economics… published at 25… joined the service at 27… been working in section b… due for a move… accomplished analyst... speaks French, Spanish, German and can read Arabic, Hebrew… um hum.…and in her youth she won a prize in programming… so I'd imagine she can hack into things then… Well Harry you're the boss would you have her instead of me? That's how we'll know she's up to standard. I'm sure you've given her personal information some thought too of course._"

"_Well I wouldn't have her in this department no Ruth as we have you, but if we needed another analyst yes I would be apt to hiring her. She seems career orientated as well which may prove to be useful; this move may be just what she's looking for: possibility of bigger and brighter things_."

"_Yes Harry_." Harry closed over the file, yet Ruth continued to strain her neck over his shoulder. "_So, you'll approach her and ask her if she want's the job then? It's all going to be a bit suspicious though, you're not even from the right security office_."

"_Quite. Not to worry I'm sure I'll be able to call over to section A speak to the head of department and get his consent, reference and all that… make sure she isn't too good to be true. But it all seems to be fitting nicely into place yes_."

"_Yes Harry_." Finally, Ruth withdrew herself from behind the desk and made her way towards the door. "_You will tell me if you get it sorted won't you? It's only a couple of weeks before the taskforce is due to be set up and I just need to be ready if it falls through_."

"_Don't worry Ruth it will all work out, and I'll let you know when I can of course. I think I had better let the troops know they can get back to what they are being paid to do, now they've had two days of freedom with this but we can't really forget the terrorist threat from within and outside our borders can we_. _So back to the exciting terrorist threats we go_."

"_Yes Harry_" God, Ruth thought to herself, how many times had she said "yes Harry" in this one conversation, she sounded like a dazed and love struck teenager, not the 30 odd year old woman she actually was. You'd think after three years of working together the effect would have worn off but no, he still reduced her to limited and simplistic vocabulary with one look. "_Right then I'll get um back to work then_." Turning and walking away she made her way to the desk as Harry followed her out, to announce that the potential candidate had been found and they could stop offloading their work to the other sections, though only after they'd all enjoyed a liquid lunch as a reward for their "hard work". Jo and Zaf threw each other suggestive looks.

"_Liquid lunch he's never given us one of those before… in the middle of the day… when we've done sod all work for the last two days, it must be love_." Jo laughed as she threw her coat on and replied, "_It must be!"_


	8. Chapter 8

Harry glanced at his computer screen noting the date, one week to Jennifer Marx's taskforce took effect, and still no word from Juliet. He didn't really need to check the date of course, he had been subconsciously aware of the days passing, waiting on Juliet's confirmation. He did trust Juliet explicitly, yet, he couldn't help but feel she was toying with him, waiting for as long as possible, so Harry would quite simply be so relieved with confirmation he would break and inform her of his budding relationship. But Harry couldn't really inform her of something that wasn't taking place. No dinner, no drinks, nothing. Both still had the possible secondment in the back of their minds and Harry didn't want to push the issue, in case their date turned to be unconformable and awkward, skirting around the problem at hand. Harry was also quite aware of the whispers around the office, apparently their lack of subtlety in the meeting room had been caught by every member of staff. He even caught wind of a book Zaf was running, Harry had at this point wondered about the mental level of his staff, apparently research was right, those with the intelligence really did have little common sense. He had originally been concerned with how Ruth might take the news, after last time he was afraid she would back out of their date before he had even booked the table. But no, so far she had been undeterred by the whispers, either because of Harry's lack of reaction, or her own worries, Harry was unsure, still she sat beside him in meetings, and often he could feel her glance across the Grid.

Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock at the office door, and Adam swiftly entering and sitting in the chair opposite him. He had forgotten about their debriefing, but was quite sure as the operation had been a complete success it would be merely routine. He was correct, Adam spoke with a few interruptions from Harry, but it was all over in about half an hour, quite respectable.

"_So Harry any news on Ruth then_?"

"_No, no. Juliet had promised confirmation by today at the latest but still no. I can't see what the delay is. I personally went to talk to Miss Rodgers myself and found myself wanting to bring her here! Not quite as eccentric as Ruth of course, but the brains are there, no doubt about that. She'll prove to be an asset wherever she is_."

"_How did you manage to get her boss let you in and talk to her then if he knew you had every intention of stealing her away? I mean if she's so good_?"

"_Well Adam I have my ways and means of course... Let's just say Jack over at section B is close to retirement, and well there are a few ghosts in his past I'm aware of that might have well affected it_." Harry chuckled.

"_Ah, that makes sense I guess. She was up for it I take it, you didn't have to apply any more pressure there_?"

"_Interested in the move? Well yes she heard the words career development and she was suddenly very intrigued by who I was and what I wanted her for_."

Harry was interrupted by his phone ringing loudly on the desk. Taking a moment for the ringing to register he finally picked up the receiver. "_Yes_".

Adam intrigued by the call, remained where he was. If this was about Ruth he wanted to be in the room when Harry was informed on Ruth's future. He was interested in her future primarily, but there was of course the potential he could make a few quid out of it

"_Juliet. Leaving this all a bit late aren't you… Well of course I'm thankful that you agreed to helping out in the first place… No I'm not raising my voice… Sorry Juliet, will you please just give me the confirmation… Juliet we have discussed this… You won't tell me until I confirm your thoughts… Juliet… Potentially… What do you mean… Juliet for god's sake… I am in the middle of a meeting here so confirmation sometime today would be very appreciated_…"

Throughout the conversation Harry's impatience with Juliet had increased, and Adam could tell from his red face and rising voice that Harry was ready to blow his top. What where Juliet's thoughts, Adam could only presume it was to do with Harry and Ruth's relationship… potentially, so really a yes then, there was money to be made: excellent. However, the pause in Harry's voice, and the flicker of a change in his facial expression suggested Juliet had in fact just informed of him of Ruth's fate.

"_Ok… Well thank you for your efforts Juliet_" at which point Harry proceeded to hang up the phone and place his head in his hands for a moment. Adam could really only take this as a bad sign, which really wasn't helped by Harry's movement towards the scotch bottle at the back of the office.

He turned around as Harry glanced out of the window towards Ruth's desk… empty… Harry had given her the evening off, she had looked terrible she needed sleep and rest. "_Harry… what's the verdict then_?"

Harry paused and gathered two glasses to the table with the half empty bottle of scotch placing them on the table, and pouring rather large measures into each glass. Sitting down he paused…


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok so this be the last chapter I'm sure you'll be glad to hear! Hope you all liked it and thanks for all your lovely reviews!! It proved a bit longer than I originally was going to make it… got a little bit carried away me thinks! x **

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"_Well Adam, it's been finalized_."

"_Which way Harry… finalized she's leaving or finalized she's staying_."

"_Finalized she's staying_." Harry breathed slightly easier and relaxed as he finally said it out loud, "_but Juliet… bugger that woman_" Harry said under his breath quietly. Adam catching the statement gave Harry an inquiring look but when his boss refused to comment he pushed the issue no further. Instead, the two slowly drank the amber liquor in front of them, each savouring the moment for different reasons. Harry, settled in his mind at last, was as Juliet had so forcefully stated, not going to let this opportunity pass him by. Adam, glad of his colleague's future and the possibility of a few quid going his way smiled genuinely at Harry as he downed the last drop of his glass.

Harry didn't know whether he wanted to go throttle Juliet or kiss her! God how that woman infuriated him, stating she wouldn't give information on Ruth until he told her whether there was a budding relationship in the making or not. He reckoned she had sat on the information for as long as she could, and finally she felt the need to tell him. Yet she had just done him a huge favour and he wouldn't forget it. Her bloody timing though, she could have waited another ten minutes when Adam wasn't in the office watching his every move and reaction. When she had finally said the secondment had been officially blocked he had tried not to show his emotions to the junior officer. Adam wasn't Zaf for sure, but he knew that Adam would be apt to stoking the office fires of gossip when he felt the need; even if it was simply to impress the junior officers below him. Although he had shown little reaction to the news during the phone call, as he sat in front of Adam with his head in his hands, all the concern and worry swept over his head, and he was silently beaming behind his hands which disguised any reaction he was showing. As his eyes finally met Adam's, he had regained his lack of expression, yet his eyes were shining in the office light before Adam: a sign of a man close to tears, but whether they were tears of joy or despair Adam could only guess, well obviously till Harry had informed him of the block, then it was bloody obvious.

Harry glanced at the clock on his desk twenty two minutes past six. "_Another one Adam? Everyone is making their way home I see, unless you have to be home for Wes or relieve the nanny_?"

"_No no Harry, I don't need to be home for a couple of hours yet, thought the operation was going to run on a bit longer_." Really Adam didn't want to face the latter so he was prepared to sink a few more drinks with his boss, celebratory drinks and all that, a reasonable excuse.

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The empty bottle of scotch lay between the two men as Harry glanced at his clock again: three minutes to eight. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't actually told Ruth her position was secure. How selfish, revelling in his own thoughts he had completely forgotten about her. Well not forgotten about Ruth wholly, just forgotten to inform her of the news. Even as Adam talked steadily, with Harry nodding or tutting in what he hoped where appropriate places, his mind was drawn back to Ruth, they _had_ a future together, provided she didn't push him away again. Really he had to tell her tonight, he had done her an injustice by telling Adam first, which couldn't really be helped, still if Adam informed her tomorrow before he could he doubted she would forgive him. But really he couldn't do it over the phone, it was something which needed to be done face to face. As Adam finally rose from his seat, throwing on his coat and heading towards the door Harry resolved to go around to Ruth's and inform her of the confirmation.

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Ruth swore loudly as she heard her doorbell ringing shrilly, waking her from a long awaited sleep: glancing at her alarm clock, half past nine. She decided to ignore the bell, staying wrapped up in her heavy duvet instead. How many people did she know would be ringing her bell truthfully? Of course she had friends, but they called, they didn't just turn up. It was more likely to be a collector or politician or someone Ruth really _really_ didn't want to see. But as the bell rang again, Ruth pulled herself out of bed, pulled on her dressing gown and went to tell whoever it was to bugger off and let her head off back to bed in silence.

Walking from her bedroom, down the stairs, and towards the door in a half daze she pulled the door open and snapped hastily "w_hat_" before she had the chance to realize who the hell she was actually talking to.

"_Sorry Ruth, did I wake you_?" Harry spoke quietly, looking at his feet feeling uncomfortable. He had quickly pulled his head down to his feet when she had flung open the door, with her dressing gown hanging open around her pyjamas; it was well an awkward situation. Yet he couldn't help but notice the kitten images splattered, in essence, all over the white pyjamas, very Ruth Harry thought.

"_Harry, shit… I mean… sorry I was asleep. Please come in_." She motioned for him to come in, ushering him into the living room, closing the front door and quietly under her breath muttering shit repeatedly as she walked into the living room after him.

"_I'm sorry Ruth I seem to have forgotten the advice I gave you. I brought some dinner… Chinese hope that's alright? I just thought… you didn't look like you had been sleeping much… thought you might want some company_." Harry held up a large brown bag, which Ruth in her semi daze had only just noticed.

_"Oh thanks Harry, I was in bed but I haven't eaten since lunch_."

Ruth took the bag from Harry's grasp, and made her way into the kitchen. Harry could hear her clattering plates, glasses, knives and forks and banging drawers. He followed her into the kitchen, where she had poured him a glass of whiskey and herself a glass of wine. When they had finally sat down to their late dinner, Harry realized he still hadn't told her about Juliet.

"_Harry, not that I'm grateful for the dinner it's delicious, it's just I was wondering was there any reason you came over. It's just I'm sure you didn't really make it your job to bring dinner around to all of your staff_?"

"_No that would be just you Ruth, and this is a personal call, it's nothing to do with work, well it is but I just thought you would like some company_."

"_Oh…ok_"

"_No it's just I had a phone call from Juliet today, and well she had the information we were both waiting on_."

At his words Ruth had jumped out of her seat and made her way around to his side, her fists clenched at her side in frustration, God he was dragging this all out. Never a good sign! "_Harry what did she say… Harry!?_"

"_Well do you want the whole conversation or just the information regarding you_?" Harry said keeping his face straight and trying not to laugh.

Ruth at this point proceeded to hit his arm in frustration. "_God Harry, please it would be nice to know. Is it a yes… is it a no? Am I staying or am I going_?" Her face fell a little at his lack of reaction.

"_Well I'm sorry Ruth_…"

"_Harry no! I don't want to go… Harry…"_ her voice faltered off and her eyes were shining with tears.

"_You didn't let me finish. I'm sorry Ruth but you are stuck with us all for a bit longer on the Gr_…" Harry was interrupted by Ruth throwing her arms around him and planting a kiss on his lips. Realising what she was doing she removed herself quickly from his embrace and took a few steps back, fidgeting with her hands.

"_What I mean is… well thank you Harry that's wonderful news… I don't know what I could possibly do to thank you for everything…"_ her voice trailed off again as Harry got up from his seat and edged closer towards her again, her eyes darting across the room. She was determined to look anywhere but directly at him, she would just melt into his arms otherwise.

Harry continued to edge closer and closer until he was within an inch of her face. "_Well Ruth, I had hoped that you would have dinner with me, maybe this Friday night at a nice little restaurant in town, and then maybe we would go for another date and perhaps another. I know you agreed to one but I was thinking that with all my efforts I should be entitled to a series of them_." Harry chuckled. "_That is unless you no longer wish to see me on a personal level_?" His eyes constantly on hers, were searching for some kind of answer, some kind of sign, a momentary flick had passed through them he was sure, he was just unsure how to read it.

"_Ruth_…"

Ruth turned, putting her back between herself and Harry, simply to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. "_Harry… I can't… I mean I still I can't face the whispers… the gossip… your job is everything to you I can't possibly jeopardize that with whatever I feel_…"

Truthfully Harry couldn't believe he was hearing this… again might he add! The kissing and running was a habit he would have liked her to keep but this… this was a habit he wished she would just get bored of as soon as possible. "_Ruth… we've been here before, the whispers and gossip of my staff is quite simply none of my concern. If they feel the need to fritter their time away talking about me I really couldn't care less_. _Please… look at me Ruth_." Placing his hand gently on her shoulder he pulled her around so the two were yet again facing one another.

"_No Harry I can't it's your career, your life's work. You've put your life on the line for it before, it's too important… too important for whatever we or at least I am feeling_."

"_And what may I ask are you feeling Ruth? I know how I feel, and I know I should have told you years ago… instead the whole situation has been dragged into a farce with both of us skating around our true feelings and trying to ignore what is blatantly damn obvious. So tell me Ruth how you are feeling, because I know I love you_."

"_Harry I said no! We can't, I'm one of your officers… even if I was happy with the whispers around the Grid you surely can't be happy with the whispers that will be at the levels above you? You're too important to be wasting your time on a passing fancy_."

At this Harry couldn't contain himself any longer, he threw his hands up in the air and started to pace furiously around her, shaking his head and muttering to himself. Raising his voice angrily, "_a passing fancy, a passing fancy? God maybe I was wrong about you, you are naïve if that's what you think this is. As for the upper level pompous swine, I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass what those people think. Not everyone is against this working you know. The only reason I ever brought myself to asking you on the first date was because Juliet informed me she thought you were in love with me_…" at this point Harry paused taking in Ruth's pained expression before soldiering on. "_Well she said that, and told me not to miss my opportunity and I realized she was right. What I had wanted all these years had been sitting at a desk outside my office, right in front of my bloody eyes for three whole years. I, well I had tried to ignore my own feelings, put them to the back of my mind and carry on with my routine way of life, which was still wholly affected by you and your presence every day, but when she said that and there was the faintest glimmer of hope you reciprocated my feelings I went for it. I thought sod it, I love her and we are wasting our lives away here in a will they-wont they relationship, which in my own opinion has been talked about long before we were made aware of it. I can bet you any money that Zaf, Jo, Adam even Malcolm could read the signs and note our own behaviours and attitudes towards one another before we had admitted these feelings even to ourselves. We can make this work Ruth, the boss thing that's just a formality in my eyes; do you really think I see myself as above you? You have a higher IQ than me, more common sense and a greater sense of duty than I could ever imagine having. I love you; I don't give a damn about what everyone else thinks or feels they can all go to hell. That's why the secondment was blocked, that's why I called in those favours, and that's why it's not a bloody passing fancy Ruth!"_

"_Harry_…" Ruth reached for Harry's arm, but he pulled backwards, now the floodgates had opened he wasn't finished. There were three whole years of words caught up inside of him and he wanted them all to come flowing out now; when either the nerve or the numerous glasses of scotch had given him the strength to do so at last.

"_No Ruth! How can you do this, toy with me over and over again? If anything you have been leading me on these past few weeks, suggesting there was hope when really there was none, hurried kisses and tight embraces. Did I not tell you I respected your wishes, do you honestly think I would have or will ever pressurise you into something you don't want to do? I would have tried to keep you on at the Grid even if we maintained only the work relationship that you feel keen to see kept intact. God if I've told you once I've told you over and over again, you are a vital and well-loved member of the team, without you we could have had some nasty bombs or terrorist threats simply carried out, as you, you Ruth are often the reason so many of the operations are a success. All I am asking you to do is tell me you don't love me… tell me you don't want to be with me… to see me… tell me you don't want to give yourself a bit of happiness and love that's being put right in front of your very own eyes_."

"_Harry… this is all so difficult_."

"_No it's not Ruth, you are the one making it hard on yourself. All you have to say is three little words. Three little words and that's it, done. Well I might swoop you up in my arms or something, but please Ruth just tell me… tell me the truth_." He grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, pulling her in close to him. "_Ruth… please_."

Ruth took a deep breath and said it. "_I love you Harry_": the phrase that had threatened to come out of her mouth so many times before, when she was daydreaming, when she was in briefings, when he spoke to her, the list was endless and she had done it, she had finally said it. Suddenly a wave of relief hit her, washing slowly over her. She was not only staying on the Grid she had finally told Harry Pearce she loved him. Taking her in his arms, Harry held her close; dumbstruck now she had finally admitted to herself and to him her true feelings.

"_So that's a yes to the dates then is it_?"

Ruth pulled back slightly and looked him in the eye, "_I might consider it_" she whispered before pulling him in for an eagerly anticipated kiss.

Harry was beaming inside, he had let a member of his staff under his skin, he had let his guard drop and he was glad. Holding the woman of his dreams in his tight embrace, finally feeling the contours of her body and her radiating touch, it really couldn't get much better than this could it?


End file.
